i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
