Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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