Please, let me fuck your mom
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
