so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
