I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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