There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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