I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
