haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize