we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
