I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
