okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
