You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
