You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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