Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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