im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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