Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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