My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
