Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
