No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize