We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
