I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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