i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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