ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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