he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
