Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize