..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
