your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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