well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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