I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
