A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
