he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
