What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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