Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
