It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
