In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
