omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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