new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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