and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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