did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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