Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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