Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize