i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
