North Korea, Best Korea!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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