so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
