I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize