The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
