I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
