And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
only if we run a train.
done.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
