He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
