I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
