K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
