You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
