I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
