So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
