I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
