did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
