hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
