Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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