she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize