You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
