Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize