Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
