i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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