She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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