But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
