through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
