My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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