youre lurking in front of me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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