fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize