I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
