well I can't set my house on fire every night
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
