I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
