Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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