so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
