remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize